How often did/do you visit? (Also a venting post forgive me)

NICU dad here. Our daughter (26 + 5) has been in the NICU for going on a month now. For the most part, it’s been relatively smooth sailing until recently. She’s had a rough go with her oxygen lately, largely due to pressure/air in her belly not allowing her to fill her lungs all the way. In the last week alone she’s gone from CPAP, to Hi-flow, back to CPAP, to NIV, and in the middle of the night mom and I received a call she was being intubated. We were gutted and scared for her, worst of all we were upset we weren’t there with her.We’ve managed to get back into a routine with both of us going back to work full time. We’re fortunate because we both work from home, and we live 30-45 minutes from the NICU. We both have time for at least one visit per day to break up our work days and spend 2-3 hours each day during the week with her, more on the weekend. We also originally intended to spend more time with her in the evenings if she was feeling sick or wasn’t doing well, but we’re finding that to be increasingly difficult to commit to for ourselves.It was much easier to do this routine when she was progressing well and we got to do kangaroo care with her, because when it was time to leave we knew she was okay and doing well. Now with her being intubated, we’re feeling guilty about not being there for her more, but we also find it more difficult actually being there, watching her monitors and levels as if they were our own.I’m not telling anyone anything they don’t already know. This is a journey and it’s going to be hard. There’s no “right way” to have your child in the NICU. What I didn’t know (and still don’t have a handle on today) was how emotionally drained and physically exhausted I would feel even on the good days, let alone the bad. I’m feeling guilty for that.How did/do you manage your lives outside and inside the NICU? What was your routine like? How did you take care of yourself/selves? via /r/NICUParents https://ift.tt/NBlGL1m