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As the title suggests, my 5 week baby boy (I am a FTM) gets specially fussy in the night and doesn’t sleep well. Baby doesn’t sleep well during the day when breastfed. Today I pumped and fed, and baby slept for 3 hours straight, that too twice. Baby latches fine and we confirmed that he doesn’t have tongue tie. Sometimes he drinks for 30 minutes and sleeps off, and wake up in 30 minutes again. He only drains one breast and wakes up.My concern is when I pump, he may not be getting enough hind milk. How can I make sure he breastfeeds and sleeps well during the day?Thanks in advance. via /r/breastfeeding https://ift.tt/1o0CjNi

If ever? Curious because my LO is 8 months now and still waking up 2 times a night. I know that’s not that much but I am so longing for a night where I can sleep THROUGH. Even now, I’d have to pump in the middle of the night if my husband took the entire night shift because my body is used to feeding her! I also currently pump in the MOTN to have enough milk for daycare, so I do have to be awake either way. When did your LO’s drop night feeds and start sleeping through??ETA: it is so nice to read all these responses! All of my friends have babies who are younger or the same age and sleep through the night. I thought maybe I was doing something wrong, it’s nice to know it’s very normal and (as always) every baby is different! via /r/breastfeeding https://ift.tt/dPw2y6x

Yes, every baby is different. But please don’t be afraid to do what feels right to you. I nursed my son to sleep constantly in the first year. I woke up multiple times a night to nurse him and settle him and nurse him to sleep over and over during the first year of life. I actively weaned him between months 12-14 and transitioned to bottles of soymilk. And now at 18 months he does not nurse to sleep and actively squirms out of my arms after story time to get into his crib where he sleeps 10-11 hours uninterrupted. This has been the norm since about 14 months. It is possible. I never thought I’d get to this point when I was in the trenches of exclusively breastfeeding with a baby who woke up every 2-3 hours all night to nurse for the first 11 months of his life. Sleep will come, I promise. Tldr: I nursed to sleep all the time and now my son goes easily to sleep independently at 18 months without sleep training.ETA: he had stopped nursing over night on his own around 11-12 months via /r/breastfeeding https://ift.tt/WdLEKzx

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Our 29-weeker is getting ready to come home in just a few days. Other than hypoglycemia, she doesn’t have any issues that we know of. She’s just tiny, she was born with IUGR, she weighed only 860g. Right now she’s at 2,700g, she’s growing nicely. She has no problems with eating either. She will come home on low flow oxygen, as many preemies here due to high elevation. How did you handle your nerves when you could finally have your baby home? Not having all the medical support, the monitors, and just the lack of closeness of help scares me.We will get educated about the oxygen tanks and all that, but I wanted to know how did you guys find handling the situation. Was it messy, difficult, annoying? How do they decide when to take the baby off the oxygen? If you notice that the baby has a longer desat or a brady, what do you do other than stimulating? Sometimes I notice these events myself, but sometimes the machine beeps and I wouldn’t have told that the baby had something going on. I know that the doctors wouldn’t send her home if they thought it was unsafe, but I’m not trusting my judgement and I just have so many worries right now. I know I’m overthinking it probably but I keep spiraling around “what if I don’t wake up to my alarm in the middle of the night to feed her?” “what if I’m so exhausted that I don’t notice a brady during feeding and I don’t let her take a break?” and so on.I think what I’m looking for here is stories about how you got used to the situation, when was the first time that you weren’t just staring at your baby during the night until you passed out, etc.I’m extremely excited but also worried that I won’t be a good enough parent and that she won’t be safe with me. ♥️ via /r/NICUParents https://ift.tt/ZLIBNSd

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I never truly realized the depths of my trauma after my wife gave birth to our daughter at 27 weeks. I spent so long trying to be all strength while making no space for my own processing and emotions. Now almost a year later I am 6 sessions in with a trauma therapist, and my generalized anxiety that I see developed after my child’s birth has subsided greatly! I really am feeling like myself for the first time in forever, and I had an opportunity in a recent session to truly process my wife’s birth, and our NICU stay. Seriously, make space for this kind of help if you have the means. I know the stigmas exist and I know many of you probably feel guilty to prioritize yourself after birth, especially as we erroneously compare our experiences to those of birth parents. I’m here to say that the trauma needs your attention, and if you can make space for it in a healthy way, you may really begin to feel like you again ♥️ via /r/NICUParents https://ift.tt/GHtpnMJ

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My husband (31M) and I (31F) attended a wedding last weekend, it was a beautiful wedding with lots of his friends there and I was his plus one. The night before I asked my partner to check in with me/not ditch me or at least try to include me as i’m 20 weeks pregnant obviously, not drinking and driving us there and back (2 hour away/ 4 hours in total).I was a bit nervous as i wouldn’t be drinking either and for context, it was the first big event we have attended after finding out the baby news. I find some of his ‘group’ intimidating and they can often be ‘clicky’- he is well aware of my feelings on the subject.During the reception, I struggled to find him. He never looked for me or asked me if wanted a drink. I spoke to people, mingled on my own and met some lovely people. But I couldn’t shake the feeling he just kind of dropped me contrary to what we had agreed. I thought don’t worry- he’ll try later on, he’s just saying hi to all his friends…When we all sat down for dinner (we were on seperate tables- absolutely fine), during the meal, he didn’t check on me. Didnt even come over to say hi or even include me when he went to the bar. I saw a few other people’s partners doing this as lots of couples were not sitting together. Me being 20 weeks pregnant, I felt a tinge of embrassessment.After, the dinner I said something to him reminding him about what we spoke about the night/day before and spending some time with me. As the night went on it only got worse, he avoided me, and if I asked him to sit with me for a bit, he would go for a cigarette instead, he knows I don’t want to be around second-hand smoke. I asked him to sit with me once, he made an excuse about going to the toilet and never came back. Leaving me with one of his friends who wouldn’t stop touching my stomach (annoying but its drunk people being drunk.)If I was near my partner talking to others, he would make jokes about my ‘big’ boobs in front of his friends. I tried one last time to talk to him, as it was making me upset, but all he did was look over at his friends saying he missing out, just by being sat with me and walked off.All of his friends were drunk and didn’t want to be around the sober person which was fine but meant I was often alone for long periods of time from 12pm to 12am. When I asked to leave at 12 am (the time to wedding ended), he tried to say about staying longer and tried to get others to pressure me as well.I felt so disregarded, I haven’t said much to him since but the pain is still there. When we got home, he spend the day sleeping so, didn’t have a chance to even speak about it. I haven’t said anything yet, and if you ask – he has been on nights out recently even one that week- he went out drinking to 2am (so, its not like he hasn’t been able to have ‘his fun’).​Just one day, I wanted his consideration. Apart of me thinks some people would be like let him have his fun but it was a 12 hour period, during that period he never came over once to me to ask if his pregnant wife was okay.I have a right to be upset don’t I ? Or am I being an asshole for being upset? I know it was his friend’s wedding but I have never felt more unloved. via /r/pregnant https://ift.tt/pHeryBN

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I gave birth to my daughter a few months ago and I still can’t believe how my labour and delivery went down. I wanted to share my story so other pregnant moms can be aware and perhaps be a little more prepared than I was. I am a first time mom and I tried to educate myself as much as possible so that I would be prepared for the delivery room but I never came across anything about a precipitous labour so nothing could have prepared me for what was about to happen.I felt very off that day but I was not experiencing much pain or anything that felt like a contraction. Something just did not feel right so I told my boyfriend I wanted to go to the hospital to get checked out. We were told that I was not in labour and that I was only dilated 2 cm. They said that I should come back if I start to experience contractions that are 5 minutes apart. So we went home to wait. I still could not shake the feeling that something was not right. I still was not experiencing much pain but I had my boyfriend take me back to the hospital a second time two hours later. I was told again that I was not in labour, only two cm dilated and that I would probably not go into labour for a few days. They sent me home again and made me feel a little silly for coming back so soon. I felt like I was wasting their time.By the time I got home from the hospital the second time things had changed. I began to experience a very intense pain. The pain was not like what I was told to expect from a contraction. I could not time them or find a pattern, it was just a straight pain with no end.Since I had already been turned away at the hospital twice and I did not want to be embarrassed again, I tried to make myself comfortable and relax. After an hour of trying I could not take it and went back to the hospital. When I arrived the nurse did not want to check me again as I had just been sent away an hour ago. She tried to instruct me to go home and rest but I insisted that she check one more time and this time I was 5 cm dilated. I was told it would still be several hours until delivery but they admitted me and began to get me ready for an epidural.I did not make it to the epidural because as soon as I arrived in my room I began to have this intense urge to push. Another nurse noticed that I was pushing and quickly checked me again. This time I was 10 cm and the babies head was already present. My daughter was born 17 minutes after I arrived in my room. The doctor literally had to run into the room to make it in time. All together my labour and delivery took a little over 2 hours. I did not even have a chance to fully comprehend what was happening. In the end my daughter was born safely and she is very healthy.Sometimes I think about what could have happened if I had listened to the nurses and just stayed/ went home. I could have ended up having my daughter at home or in the car. I wanted to share my story because I want other moms to be know to listen to your body. If something doesn’t feel right make sure to insist that you get the care you deserve. Make the doctors and nurses listen to you. You know your body better than anyone. via /r/BabyBumps https://ift.tt/XNs6OB8

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Hey guys. This sub has been so good for my mental health and my escape place while I was pregnant. I delivered my sweet baby boy 5 days ago and he is so amazing! I will share my birth story soon (it’s a wild ride). But for right now I’m really hoping for some support about breastfeeding. Short version: I hate it. He won’t latch, and when he does it hurts. My nipples are pretty flat and I feel like that’s part of the problem. I know I could hire a lactation consultant, take classes, use nipple shields, pump, etc and fix it. But I don’t know if I even want to. Please please don’t give me advice on how to fix the breastfeeding – I know with hard work I can. I’m looking for reassurance that it’s okay if I want to stop for my mental health and, quite frankly, convenience.I know I only “tried” for 4 days, but geez it sucked (pun intended lol). I hated feeling like a tool or machine that existed only for feeding my child. I don’t really get the happy bonding feeling when he feed successfully, I just feel uncomfy and usually beg him to be done soon so I can rest or go back to what I was doing. Man that feels shitty to admit though. It feels selfish.Last night he REFUSED to latch and we finally made the decision to try formula for his health, he hadn’t eaten in 8 hours. We were scared. And damn the shift was instant!! He was so happy, and I was too. For the past 22 hours he’s only had formula from bottles and both physically and mentally I feel relief, and I cannot even tell you how different he is too. And yet, even writing all this out I still feel guilty. Like I’m some monster for wanting to stop completely. Like should I try to pump and supplement with formula? I tried to breast feed about 3 hours ago out of curiosity to see if we just needed a reset. He hated it. Immediately started screaming. I tried to stay positive but the rejection really hurt my heart. This was mostly just cathartic to write out. But if anyone really strongly disagrees for a legitimate reason, feel free to share. Also if anyone just wants to help me feel like this choice is okay, that’s great too. Thank y’all! I’m gonna go cry a little now. via /r/BabyBumps https://ift.tt/oyRsCI5

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My thoughts on my baby being in the NICUI hate that it feels like I need ‘permission’ to see MY baby. I totally understand that I need to check in and show my ID for safety reasons. However, it’s annoying. I have to follow all these rules for MY baby. I can’t just feed her when she’s hungry. When she was on the blue light for her bilirubin levels, I couldn’t just pick her up and hold her. I can’t wear jewelry. I have to use a specific sink to wash my hands before I touch her. I have to make sure the door to the isolette is closed whether she’s in there or not. -It’s hard to pick her up with all her wires and tubes and close the door before sitting in the chair to hold her. – I have seen signs that I’m not suppose to eat in the NICU, but I have ate my snacks because it’s a hassle to leave the NICU and I have to be let back in the room (again safety issue). Besides Dad and I, only FOUR people can see her and only two at a time. Those four people cannot change. There’s also a sign that says no using cell phone while holding baby (I also don’t listen to this, but I DO listen to the rule about cleaning your phone). There’s basically no private time with MY baby. When I’m breastfeeding or pumping, I have a privacy shield thing that goes around me, but it’s not perfect. I keep it around me when I’m done because I like the privacy. We’re just in a big open room with other babies and parents and nurses/staff. Along with no privacy… I feel watched ALL the time, especially if the privacy shield isn’t up. Sometimes.. I feel judged. I don’t want to be watched while I change her diaper. It takes me longer because all these freakin wires attached to her. Not to mention, I’m a first time parent and it’s been a hot minute since I’ve changed a newborns diaper. I also don’t want to be watched while I give a bath, change her clothes, etc. It feels downright WRONG every single time I leave the NICU without MY baby. It’s like leaving my heart behind for strangers to care for it. The feeling is AWFUL. I don’t feel like an active participant in her plan of care. Medications were added without us knowing (multivitamin and iron so nothing crazy), the feeding tube moved, she was moved to a new room, and we have absolutely NO say in when she’s ready to go home. We are just told what they are adding to my breastmilk “just extra calories” no real education about it or if I even have the option to refuse it. I feel scared to say no to anything because 1. I don’t want to be judged or labeled as a complicated mom & 2. I don’t want her stay to be longer. I literally just want her home ASAP. Plus, sometimes you don’t know what questions to ask. You don’t know what you don’t know. I also find it annoying that doctors don’t call and update you consistently. I get not calling everyday if nothing has changed but I think at the minimum, docs should be calling every 3 days. (Docs for adults call a family member everyday if asked/appropriate where I work). The alarms give me anxiety. In nursing school, it’s stressed “focus on the patient, not the machine / treat the patient, not the machine.” Well, it seems like there’s always some alarm going off in here. It makes me look up at her monitor and hope it’s not her. When it is her, I’m thinking “is she okay?! What can I do?!” Most of the time, she fixes her wacky vitals herself and quickly. Now that we are getting close to discharge, I am REALLY discouraged when she, for example, has a heart rate drop. This pushes the discharge date back every time it happens. Back to my nursing school knowledge, every heart rate drop that I have seen with her… she has LOOKED fine. She’s breathing with no color changes and it lasts like a second or two. Soooo it’s just really really distressful, upsetting, and discouraging. The drive back and forth SUCKS! It also sucks to plan around her ‘care times’ (the times that she gets vitals, diaper changed, and fed). That also goes back to I can’t just feed her whenever… she’s on a schedule. But if she were at home, she would be fed when she showed signs of hunger not at specific times. I feel like a LOT of my precious maternity leave has been ‘wasted.’ I haven’t gotten to spend nearly as much time with her as I want because it’s hard staying in this room. Plus, I don’t want to be at the hospital, I actually want to be home, but I want her WITH me at homeeeeeee. I feel like I have missed a LOT of bonding time with my baby. I feel very very robbed of my time with her & the experience I had in mind for delivery / postpartum. In summary, having a baby in the NICU is really difficult. I will say I know there are rules and schedules for these sweet babies for a reason. Our nurses have been extremely kind and update us when we come here or call. I am VERY thankful for all my daughters nurses & nothing about my post is negative to them. Even the privacy comment, I appreciate them checking on us and making sure we’re okay. It’s definitely taken a toll on me mentally, BUT she has been improving and getting stronger every day. I’m thankful she’s really just in the NICU because she was born prematurely & no other concerns. I know it could be worse and I am so so thankful she’s doing well and I KNOW she’s where she needs to be and the staff are taking good care of her. ❤️ via /r/NICUParents https://ift.tt/Uodr8Y1

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My boy is just working on feedings now! We’re doing a combo of bf and bottle but the weighted feeds are so discouraging. First weighted feed he got 8ml, second nothing, and last night was what I thought was his best, longest, and most aggressive feed yet. He nursed for a solid 20 mins(normally he wears out around 10 mins). I was sooo proud and excited to see how much he got only for him to just get 6ml? He can down a whole bottle(48ml) in less than 10 mins and probably would have had I not insisted on nursing just for him to get nothing. I’m taking it personally for some reason. I pumped right after and got 3.5oz combined (about normal for me) so it’s not like I don’t have the milk! I didn’t feel a let down happen or anything. Maybe that’s the problem? Since that 9pm nursing he also hasn’t cued all night so now I’m blaming myself for wearing him out too. I just want him home but I’m delaying his progress 😭 via /r/NICUParents https://ift.tt/g3UjfnH

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Hi r/NICUParents!We brought our son home yesterday at exactly 2 months since his birth. This was such an amazing day, but it was a tough first night. Ben was born at 28 weeks and he came home at 37 weeks. The day of his discharge he had to have an eye exam which we weren’t thrilled about the timing, but we were just thankful to bring him home. We got home and he was so alert and did fine with his first couple of feedings. He was actually acting very hungry so we allowed him to breastfeed a little longer than usual. He was still so alert after his feeding which was unusual because he normally would fall asleep while holding after his feedings like he did in the NICU. This baby would not sleep from the time he came home at 1:00pm-12:00am. We tried rocking him and we held him swaddled this entire time. During one of his bottle feedings he starts crying without being able to console him. We think he just hit a point of exhaustion and it caused his body to go into stress. He was shaking while crying harder than we have heard. Luckily, after his 11:30pm feeding he did fall asleep and he has been asleep since. I’ll need to wake him soon to feed him so he doesn’t go longer than 4 hours between feeds. I just feel so bad that we weren’t able to get him to sleep for so long. I know it was probably just the new environment and over stimulation paired with the post eye exam. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m curious to hear how some of your first nights home were after the NICU for those of you that have babies that have graduated. Thank you for any insight and for sharing your experience if you can! I hope he is able to start feeding and sleeping normally soon! via /r/NICUParents https://ift.tt/419xURz

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Hi All; will mark as NSFW as it may trigger some of you. Father of a 27wk 2 day son, born at 400g (severe IUGR caused by CHI syndrome). Our boy has had a really rough go. He has had a “big” belly since day 9 of life, and that is still true today on day 143 of our NICU stay. We just haven’t figured out his belly. He has some kind of response where his CRP will skyrocket to 200-300 without infection and his belly gets very veiny and large. We had an ex-lap done in February, we all thought it was NEC, turned out to be an encarcerated hernia. We corrected that but it came back only 9 days later. Fast forward to a week ago today, our LO was extubated but tachypneic, we knew something was going on. We re-intubated him when we couldn’t catch him with a higher peep, ran some labs and a sepsis eval. He came back positive for staff across the board from trach, urine, and blood. During treatment, he just started spiraling. Overnight we watched helplessly as he escalated up to a pediatric oscillator as his belly was getting larger and larger. We didn’t know why. We were closing in on maximum settings on the oscillator, and surgery finally decided to open him back up to check for perforations. They opened him up, perforating his bowel in the process because he was so pressurized, when our surgeon was opening him she couldn’t pull away fast enough, but then after repairing that we didn’t find any bad bowel, but 500ml of whiteish fluid inside of his abdomen. We cleared that out, placed him in a silo and let him rest. The next day he had filled his silo with fluid, and we had to do a washout to get that taken care of, the next day we learned that the fluid was actually lipids and TPN. We learned that his PICC line had somehow displaced and was dumping our meds into his abdomen and not his vessels. So we had to go back in to remove that and make sure he wasn’t bleeding internally. We have had two more washouts since for other reasons. Just feels like the worst luck in the world, on top of having the worst luck in the world for having CHI as our diagnosis and losing our first son in 2021 due to being even smaller than our second. We are far from being out of the woods. Still not closed. I just feel like I needed to share this so that we could get some additional prayers and well wishes as we continue to watch our LO fight for his life. We are hopeful we can close him tomorrow, but we won’t know until then. We just want this to end. We want our LO to continue to trend in the correct ways, but know that only time will tell. via /r/NICUParents https://ift.tt/3actU5r

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Friday, 5/18 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy at 37 weeks. Birth was a bit traumatic but all in all everyone made it out unscathed. There were some breathing and jaundice concerns so he is now on the NCIU for a couple of days out of precaution. I was discharged yesterday and I am now lost. I visit every chance I can (we live about 25 min away) and I know he is in the best place but it is such a lonely and weird place to be in. When I visit I hold and snuggle him but he also has to stay under the lights (jaundice lights) so mostly I can only just sit and stare. I guess I am here writing this because only mothers can know this emotion. My husband has been very supportive but it’s almost a chemical need/want for my baby. I am standing in my kitchen writing this not knowing what to do with myself. I left for the hospital with him in my womb but came home without him. I am very thankful he is healthy and thriving (I couldn’t even imagine the reverse) but just needed some mom support. via /r/NICUParents https://ift.tt/yluOZhE

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We should hold any party that did/does that accountable for what they did. via /r/ontario https://ift.tt/MTPiNpg

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That’s basically the post. I’m only a week postpartum, but I just feel like crying all the time. I already was a very easy crier before any of this. I get that this would be definitely concerning if I hadn’t had a traumatic birth experience and didn’t have a baby in the NICU, but with those factors considered, I feel like it’s totally normal to be crying. via /r/NICUParents https://ift.tt/t7w2dNe

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My 29 weeker just got home from the NICU and is 3.5 weeks adjusted. For the last few days, including before he left the hospital he’s been extremely congested. It’s especially bad when he’s feeding from a bottle or sucking on a pacifier. We aren’t able to get anything out with suction. One of the nurses mentioned it may be reflux going up into his nasal passages and to keep him upright after feeds. we’ve been doing that and he isn’t displaying other signs of reflux, but he’s still super congested. It’s so bad he sounds like he’s choking when laying flat. He’s fine when he’s upright or during tummy time. Any thoughts or suggestions??? via /r/NICUParents https://ift.tt/8vgf4qF

Our son was born at 29+3 and spent about 60 days in the NICU. He has been growing pretty well and is only slightly behind his adjusted age milestones. Currently he is 13 months (about 10.5ish months adjusted) One thing we are struggling really hard with though is feeding. He is very sensitive to textures and it’s preventing him from eating more than a teaspoon of food at a time (if that). It’s taking 30 minutes or more to even have him eat that much and we’ve been trying now for almost 6 months with no improvement. We are working with a speech therapist and she recently put in a referral for a dietitian due to his stalling. He is curious about food. If I offer him a smear of sauce or something smooth on my finger, he is happy to lick it off and keep having little tastes. But all hell breaks loose if we try to actually feed him. He wants to feed himself. He’ll grab the spoons from us, refuse to give them back without a fight (and then a meltdown), or throw them on the floor. He will bite his lip to prevent us from putting more purée in his mouth and hold any food he does have in his mouth until he gags and throws up. Dipping teething biscuits in purées or food doesn’t help (he just holds them) dipping toys doesn’t help (he throws them), giving him his own spoon only works for a minute or two until he wants the one I’m holding too. We’ve been offering him variety of options in addition to typical purées. I blended up some chili I made and he happily had a little bit of that until he didn’t like it anymore. I put potato salad through my ricer and he was eager for that until he wasn’t. Cottage cheese and scrambled eggs that we put into those little mesh bags for him to suck on were a hit, but again in very small quantities. He’ll suck on steamed broccoli, strawberries, bananas, and avocados if it’s in the mesh feeder bag thing, but won’t actually eat much. He does fine with his bottle but I’m worried by how much of a fight introducing solids has been. Has anyone else experienced this? What worked for you? Thanks so much for your help! via /r/NICUParents https://ift.tt/R5UKzE7

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