Delivered 5 days ago – Hard time breastfeeding. Is it okay to stop? I kind of hate it. Feeling sad. Help :(
Hey guys. This sub has been so good for my mental health and my escape place while I was pregnant. I delivered my sweet baby boy 5 days ago and he is so amazing! I will share my birth story soon (it’s a wild ride). But for right now I’m really hoping for some support about breastfeeding. Short version: I hate it. He won’t latch, and when he does it hurts. My nipples are pretty flat and I feel like that’s part of the problem. I know I could hire a lactation consultant, take classes, use nipple shields, pump, etc and fix it. But I don’t know if I even want to. Please please don’t give me advice on how to fix the breastfeeding – I know with hard work I can. I’m looking for reassurance that it’s okay if I want to stop for my mental health and, quite frankly, convenience.I know I only “tried” for 4 days, but geez it sucked (pun intended lol). I hated feeling like a tool or machine that existed only for feeding my child. I don’t really get the happy bonding feeling when he feed successfully, I just feel uncomfy and usually beg him to be done soon so I can rest or go back to what I was doing. Man that feels shitty to admit though. It feels selfish.Last night he REFUSED to latch and we finally made the decision to try formula for his health, he hadn’t eaten in 8 hours. We were scared. And damn the shift was instant!! He was so happy, and I was too. For the past 22 hours he’s only had formula from bottles and both physically and mentally I feel relief, and I cannot even tell you how different he is too. And yet, even writing all this out I still feel guilty. Like I’m some monster for wanting to stop completely. Like should I try to pump and supplement with formula? I tried to breast feed about 3 hours ago out of curiosity to see if we just needed a reset. He hated it. Immediately started screaming. I tried to stay positive but the rejection really hurt my heart. This was mostly just cathartic to write out. But if anyone really strongly disagrees for a legitimate reason, feel free to share. Also if anyone just wants to help me feel like this choice is okay, that’s great too. Thank y’all! I’m gonna go cry a little now. via /r/BabyBumps https://ift.tt/oyRsCI5