An Informal Book Review on ‘When Breath Becomes Air’ (because I really need to get this off my chest)

I truly don’t know where to start. Paul Kalanithi, do I speak of you as a neurosurgeon, a neuroscientist, a husband, a father, or a cancer patient? I think that’s the beauty of who Kalanithi was, no matter how hard you tried, one title wouldn’t be enough to capture his essence.I picked up this book as a medical student, but put it down as a human being, remaining in the depths between life and death. I was inconsiderate, to say the least. The way I started reading this book reminded me of the way some medical students deal with cadavers; slicing and tearing them open with a thirst for knowledge, but forgetting that these were people: living and breathing, just like them.I skimmed through the pages of the book, stopping whenever my eyes settled on a new medical term. “Neurocardiogenic Syncope,” I whispered, hastily closing the book to search up the term. It was not until Part II: Cease Not Till Death, that I came to terms with an unsettling notion: I was reading the words of a man who had died. Paul Kalanithi was a man who had fought so hard to understand mortality, and as he mentions in his book, what better way to understand something than to experience it first-hand. It was then when I began to read the book as someone that would have to face their own death one day, and many more before that. Death is inevitable, cruel, but also, necessary.Paul Kalanithi has managed to shift my entire perspective on medicine, doctor-patient relationships, and life. When people asked me why I chose to become a doctor, my reply would revolve around science, but very rarely, did I mention people. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing more I want to do than help people, but I never consciously made that my first priority. Having finished this book, and it leaving me with a strong sense of grounding, I can proudly say that I have found the real reason I chose medicine. Here’s how Paul Kalanithi phrased it, “Emma [Kalanithi’s oncologist] hadn’t given me back my old identity. She’d protected my ability to forge a new one.”Treating patients is not always about a biological cure, because even when patients are cured, the memories and emotions remain. Thus, what differentiates doctors like Emma and Paul from all the others, is that their patients were able to go on.”I’ll go on,” Paul Kalathini whispered, dragging himself out of his bed. He had a whole plan ahead of him; he wanted to become a neurosurgeoun-neuroscientist. He spent all his life focused on this plan. Yet, when faced with the possibility of death, he adopted a new persona. He became a father and a writer (my favourite writer).Dr. Paul Kalanithi, I can only hope for an ounce of your bravery, determination, intelligence, and strength, and hope that your beautiful daughter, Cady, gets so much more.You will never be forgotten, certainly not by me. Thank you for all that you’ve done.Before I go, I promise to read your book after every year of medical school. So, until next year, Dr. Kalanithi.Note: I’m sorry if this is messy and full of errors, I’m not ashamed to admit I wrote this while crying. I would love to hear all of your experiences with the book. via /r/books https://ift.tt/3gtQ6nC